jailbird

I'm not writing this post to brag or to sound bad-arse or to seek sympathy. There's nothing self-indulgent about this post at all...

No, instead this edition of Teddy Pickle will be an unashamed, unrestrained, no-bullshit, absolute FUCK YOU to a certain group of Victorian Police who treated me and more importantly - my friends - like worthless pieces of shit late last week - a certain assortment of self-righteous bastards from the Victorian Police force who i'm sure will continue to sneer and puff out their badged chests until someone fucking does something about it.

To cut a long story short, my friends and I were leaving a bar in the early hours of a Sunday morning last week (in Old Melbourne Town, a city which i'm quickly losing faith in). I attempted, in my own drunken little way, to hail a taxi on Swanston Street when I was intercepted by the said band of policemen (and a cow of a policewoman. I'm all for girl-power, but this slag was a right old bitch).

Yes, I was drunk. Admittedly that was my only crime ("drunk in a public place", oh dear - shoot me down constable!). But was I aggressive? No. Was I violent or uncooperative at all? No. Were my friends being aggressive, violent or uncooperative? No, I don't generally befriend people like that, thank you very much.

Was I arrested, stripped of my shoes, my phone and my wallet, thrown into the back of a divvy-van, held in a cell for 5 hours without being told exactly what i'd done wrong and without being told how long i'd be locked up for? Yes. Was I served with a fine for $478? FUCK yes I was.

And worse of all, my friends, who were "guilty" of attempting to come to my aid and ask the police officers what the problem was, were each slapped with fines. There's the price of friendship, 60 bucks a pop.

Before all this, I held a little respect aside for the police force. No more. Clearly, the po-po have become more concerned with handing out fines than actually helping the citizens they're paid to protect.

Dear "Victoria Police Enforcement Agency", I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was drunk, I knew that and I just wanted to catch a fucking cab home.

Thanks for your help, pigs.

(My sentiments, artistically represented by a young guerilla artist in Prahran East).