Tony, Tony, Tony... Who taught you how to be a politician? You may be able to run a triathalon, but you're failing to tick some boxes when it comes to very basic Aussie politician rules.
1.) You're supposed to be horribly unfit and squibbish. Think four-eyes Kruddy or human blimp Joe Hockey, not this (incredibly disturbing) vision in lyrca.
2) Yes, politicians lie. It's part of the job description - just like checkout-chick and chewing gum, Maccas kid and acne, Starbucks barista and complete lack of coffee-making skills. Yes, we accept you're going to lie - but for God's sake DON'T TELL US that you're going to!
and 3). Don't flirt with the enemy! (However, with that ruby-haired minx Julia Gillard, I don't blame you...)
Like any Australian politician i've come across (and yes, i'm quite the authority when it comes to political criticism, clearly), Tony Abbott is somewhat of a repulsive, highly-uncool figure (why can't we have a Sarkozy, an Obama?!). But in his defense, there's something immensely likable about him when placed in comparison with Krudd. I'm sorry, but there's something about our current PM that makes me want to club a baby seal, torpedo Jessica Watson's boat or fulfill Catherine Deveny's Bindi-tweet.
At least Abbott is bumbling, rather than conniving and slimy like Rudd.
In conclusion, I leave you with this:
No comments:
Post a Comment